we're blogging at a bar
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
