I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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