I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you will always have a special place in my vag
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
