my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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