after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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