Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
