I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
