The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
