After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
