I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We had sex on a dog bed..
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
