Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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