I just pynch a tree in the face
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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