thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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