what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize