omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Someone shattered a urinal.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
