The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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