ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
