so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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