Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
