I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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