Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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