Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I bet he comes in French.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
