hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
