i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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