Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
