he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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