I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize