you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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