whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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