Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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