apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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