my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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