Plan B is the new Plan A
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
