I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
