I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He better not be in your backpack
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
