So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
