My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So much rum. So many feels.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
