We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
