i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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