you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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