I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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