And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
