just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
