i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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