hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
