Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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