lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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