giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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