im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize