I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize