shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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