yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
