My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
