my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
