Kareoke will never be a sober sport
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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