her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
