Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
