What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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