Tell her she can't have a vagina
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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