Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
