your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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