Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
