New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
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