If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
