Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
