FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
