please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
